Luxury Strategist T-Shirts

"We need to cut costs, so I will show good leadership and will not drink champagne for lunch everyday. I will drink Prosecco instead."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

Will work for ETFs

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

Water is discovered on the moon....

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

The Plinth Wedding Planner Co.

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

"I have my pants put on one leg at a time."

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

"Gucci Firenze 1921"

Champagne Charlie.

'These are tough times for wall street tycoons...the best we can do is laugh half-way to the banks.'

"I made my money the old fashioned way...a team of high priced lawyers litigating round the clock."

The early days of Warren Buffett.

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

Dating the efficiency expert.

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

'Life, liberty & the pursuit of tax shelters.'

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

Rock champion (Rock, paper, scissors).

Marriage counselor, living together counselor or a just screwing around counselor.

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

'I realize money can't buy happiness, so I'm just trying to improve the exchange rate.'

'First, you have to stop treating your husband like a child.'

"No, I don't think our marriage would benefit from a mission statement."

'By proposing a merger instead of marriage, we can deduct this meal as a business expense.'

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.