Lifestyle Marketer T-Shirts

"Remember, you're selling home appliances, so look more ... dishwashery."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

Low-Energy Drinks

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

Cat in a flap

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

Meanwhile in Hollywood

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

Trust

"Death coach..."

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

"I know R&D feels that the product warrants at least two 'really'."

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

'No, you won't live longer if you give up sex and alcohol. But it'll seem like it.'

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

A potter paints a barcode on a pot.

'You see, you don't really need a cigarette to wake up in the morning.'

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

'... So I said to Dave; 'You're not going to wear that baggy old thing are you?' But, he decided to come nude anyway.'

Macho Vegetarian

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

"Gucci Firenze 1921"

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

'Thanks to a little genetec engineering, we can merchandise these fish right on the farm.'

Does it spark joy?

Sugar Fix.

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."