Lifestyle Critic T-Shirts

'I had to report it. Based on your lifestyle, your heart attack was premeditated.'

Obesity: Mechanical & Biological.

'This is the life - false friends, artificial stimulation,vicarious sex...'

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

"You are still here."

'No, you won't live longer if you give up sex and alcohol. But it'll seem like it.'

"My Weight Watchers meeting's tonight. I'd better get inside."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

Goodnight Social Media.

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

'I can't take much more of the happiness treadmill.'

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

"Well your results would be normal if you were a 108 and smoked a 60 a day!"

'I need my lifestyle validated.'

Renaissance Zone

'Well, if you don't smoke or drink, stop chewing gum!'

Bulltoon: Insatiabull.

T-Shirts. Just do it. Just watch it.

"I'm still thirsty. Maybe I've got leaky gut syndrome."

"In my day we had trimphones."

'This is a magnificent restaurant. Which fork should I use to comb my hair?'

"A lifetime of illicit substance abuse, chain-smoking, excessive alcohol consumption and eating nothing but crap . . . and you have the nerve to tell me I'm dying of 'natural causes!'"

"I hope this isn't meant to be a criticism of our current life style."

Marriage a la Mode - Breakfast scene.

"Phil suddenly decided to give up everything that was bad for him-no more smoking, drinking, or junk food-and he feels absolutely terrific!"

"If you look closely, you can see Uncle Jack selfishly living his awesome single life."

Lager drinker and a vegetarian eating together.

"Great spot, Al. I didn't know there was anyplace left that permitted cigar smoking naked."

Rodney kicked off his fitness regime by buying a heavier remote control...this was not enough.

"One day, son, all this will belong to the youngest woman willing to make her body my playground."

These people are having more fun in 60 seconds that we'll have in a lifetime.

Nathan is a strict vegetatetarian.

'This appliance will replace that other appliance which replaced all those original appliances.'

"My veganism is no more annoying than your ecofascism."