Luxury Lifestyle Critic T-Shirts

"One day, son, all this will belong to the youngest woman willing to make her body my playground."

Bulltoon: Insatiabull.

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

Lifestyles of the hamsters of the rich and famous.

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

'Okay, lifestyles of the rich and famouse, start that motor and get us into some shade.'

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"You are still here."

'I just love this new reality show, TRADING BANK ACCOUNTS!'

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

The Ladies Who Lurch.

"You cheap shit! Why can't we have a designer divorce?"

"My secret is having a ton of money to buy the best ingredients."

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

"I have my pants put on one leg at a time."

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

The Red Carpet

Champagne Charlie.

This is the first time I've been on the top management floor.

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

"Ted's been down in the dumps since they started giving greed a bad name."

'I need to buy some gas, but I forgot my wallet. Do you have $18,000 on you?'

'New money or old money?'

'Enough about your losing portfolio. Let me tell you about my vacation home in the Hamptons...'

"I want you two to meet some people who just bought a fabulous five-story brownstone with a garden in Troy, New York."

"I've just come back from a break in Tuscany...I was surrounded by the beauty of nature in the raw...it really made me question what I was doing with my life. I've got the money, the big car and grand house, but is that really enough? Isn't there more?"

'Eggs Benedict. . . Aren't we feeling 1% this morning?!'

Pretending To Care

"Miss Penny to inquire about the tardiness of evening kibble."

'I was a multi-millionaire back when it meant something.'

Important balloons, $30.

"It was a gift from god."

Just Married an Oil Baron