Marketing Expert Gifts

"Which do you want, the tobacco company account or the stop smoking campaign?"

Bus. Ad. - 'Scapegoating 101'.

Your Leaders Putting Words Into More Words

"Our brand is about talking about our brand."

We've got to make Sadie well. You really care that much? She's crucial for business. She stirs up trouble. People buy less coffee when she's not around. C'mon, really? They need to be awake enough to defend themselves. True. I just used to put ice in my pants.

The Copywriter's Dilemma

'Welcome to Reputation Makeover! Tonight, my team and I will try to repair the tattered reputations of those appearing on other reality shows!'

Woman to flasher "Don't go into advertising"

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

Apples for sale

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

Team Leader

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

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Go team!

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.