Marketing Advisor Gifts

'If business is slow, and you want my advice, changing your business name would help...'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

Apples for sale

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

Team Leader

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

Go team!

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"#Win!"

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

We make a Valentine's card out of edible flowers that's been dipped in chocolate. It's got EVERYTHING!

Barcode Dreams

"By the end of next week, these fads such as social media, automobiles and making fire will all be over."

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

Made in China

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"I know it's misspelled, but market research shows that cute sells."

Target your customer.

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

"It lost a little something in translation."