Media Adviser Gifts

'If it hurts when you make webs, Dear, maybe you should see a spin doctor.'

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

Trial by Media

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

In the Guru District

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'How fast can you hype?'

Squeezing the Free Press.

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"National security adviser"

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

'If only every year was an election year.'

Gay Times...

Press Freedom

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

If nobody had invented graphics

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Studies show foods work miracles!

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

"Which news channel should we watch?"

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"