Media Consultants Gifts

CONGRESS, "It's like this - Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, it's time to hire a spin doctor."

Trial by Media

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

In the Guru District

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Squeezing the Free Press.

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"National security adviser"

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

'If only every year was an election year.'

Press Freedom

If nobody had invented graphics

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

Gay Times...

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Studies show foods work miracles!

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"Which news channel should we watch?"

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."