Communication Consultant Gifts

"Simple effective communications with users is essential, so we're going to practise drilling down to identify core interpersonal information transfer methodologies to accelerate meaningful dialogue protocols."

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

Dialogue

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

Changing Minds

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

Ruddy bloggers!

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"Harold, you've changed."

Information...political rhetoric

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

'Stop emailing me, I am standing right here.'

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"