Communications Advisor Gifts

"As a concerned lawmaker, I take very seriously my responsibility to offer up banal and meaningless platitudes for social media consumption."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'How fast can you hype?'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

Dialogue

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Changing Minds

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

Ruddy bloggers!

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

Information...political rhetoric

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

'Stop emailing me, I am standing right here.'

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

Target your message

'Hi! I'm on the tree.'

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

'Everyone distrusts spin. . . so let's go back to old-fashioned lying.'

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."