Communication Specialists Gifts

"Oh, I see you're busy, so I'll keep talking."

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

'It's for you!'

'We've been picking up some broken transmissions from earth. It seems they have weapons of mass destruction but they don't know where they put them.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

Dialogue

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

Changing Minds

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

Ruddy bloggers!

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

Information...political rhetoric

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

'Stop emailing me, I am standing right here.'

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

'Hi! I'm on the tree.'

Torturing the English Language

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

'My ultimate goal is to do product promo in a popular Super Bowl T.V ad.'

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."