Telecommunication Specialist Gifts

'Jack, I'm on a conference call right now.'

"Alright, I'll try again next year... you know, one of these days you'll wake up and say, 'Why don't I have DSL?!'"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

Dialogue

Changing Minds

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

Ruddy bloggers!

Information...political rhetoric

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

'Stop emailing me, I am standing right here.'

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

'Hi! I'm on the tree.'

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

'I can't read their smoke signal. It's encrypted.'

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

'My father is very hard to communicate with ? he only knows nouns and interjections.'

'My ring-tone's inaudible to humans.'

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

'Who wants the talking stick?'