Telecommunication Expert Gifts

The Busy Signal

Texting. Hardware. Software. Plans. Most of our business comes from word-of-thumb.

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

Dialogue

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

Changing Minds

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

Information...political rhetoric

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

Torturing the English Language

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

'My ring-tone's inaudible to humans.'

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

'Who wants the talking stick?'

"We've been cancelled."

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

Data From a Truck

"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."

HUAWEI 5G

Telephone line ends up buried in the ground with a headstone.

Messenger of the gods in the digital age.