Telecommunication Expert Pillows

The Busy Signal

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

Dialogue

Changing Minds

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

Information...political rhetoric

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

'My ring-tone's inaudible to humans.'

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

'Who wants the talking stick?'

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

Telephone line ends up buried in the ground with a headstone.

'OK, who moved the photocopier?'

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

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