Telecommunication Specialist Pillows

'Jack, I'm on a conference call right now.'

"Alright, I'll try again next year... you know, one of these days you'll wake up and say, 'Why don't I have DSL?!'"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

Dialogue

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

Changing Minds

Ruddy bloggers!

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

Information...political rhetoric

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

'Stop emailing me, I am standing right here.'

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

Torturing the English Language

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

'Hi! I'm on the tree.'

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

'I can't read their smoke signal. It's encrypted.'

'My father is very hard to communicate with ? he only knows nouns and interjections.'

'My ring-tone's inaudible to humans.'

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'