Telecommunications Expert Gifts

Voice-activated high-speed wireless communications.

'When I was a student, wireless data transmission meant passing notes in class.'

'It's just like e-mail, only you hear people talking.'

Talk in private - 25 cents.

"Der, dad. . . it's wireless!"

Holding the Line Against Terrorists with Midrange IQs

"We've been cancelled."

No, I don't have roaming service, I am the roaming service.

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

I don't think this is a secure line.

Post Office. The biggest name in wireless communication. That's just sad.

Empty Telco Hardware Room

Early Crank Car Phones.

Mobile phone - literally.

'...and here's the man who took our annoying phone menu system to an additional annoying level.'

Angel versus satellite...

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

Dialogue

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

Changing Minds

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

Information...political rhetoric

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

Torturing the English Language

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."