Sales Advisor Gifts

'What do you have for someone on the way down?'

"£38,000 in consultancy fees and 'sell more stuff' is the best you can manage."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

Killer Executive Suits.

Larry's used art

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

Toadstools

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'