Sales Expert Gifts

Apples - Buy 3, Get 3 - Duh.

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

The Salesman

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

'Dog eat dog.'

"You're on top of this week's Sales Pyramid."

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

Trade Show Sherpas

"Pardon me, but why is there no ceiling this office?"

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

"Are you sure you want to present your ideas in the form of an airplane?"

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"