Sales Expert T-Shirts

Apples - Buy 3, Get 3 - Duh.

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

The Salesman

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

"Pardon me, but why is there no ceiling this office?"

Trade Show Sherpas

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

"You're on top of this week's Sales Pyramid."

'Dog eat dog.'

"Are you sure you want to present your ideas in the form of an airplane?"

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"