Casting Agents Gifts

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

'Is this river good for fish?' - 'Yes, so good the refuse to leave it.'

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

Henry the amazing talking dog.

"Mum, I got the job!"

Why you've never heard of Ricky Rat.

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

He has his own peculiar problems whether casting from the beach or from a boat.

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"Which part are you reading for?"

"And what else do you think you can bring to the role of Edmund, Earl of Gloucester?"

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

'I was up for a part in the Producers...'

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

Sid Sinatra.

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

Meet Santa's entourage

Snow White and her Seven people.

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

'Therapy in L.A.'