Tv Casting Director Gifts

'I'm a has-been celebrity - get me in there!'

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

'Is this river good for fish?' - 'Yes, so good the refuse to leave it.'

Why you've never heard of Ricky Rat.

'I'll never let my love of fishing come between us.'

"Which part are you reading for?"

"And what else do you think you can bring to the role of Edmund, Earl of Gloucester?"

'I was up for a part in the Producers...'

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

He has his own peculiar problems whether casting from the beach or from a boat.

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

Ice Fly-Fishing with Doug

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

'Hang on a minute...'

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."

Charlotte Rampling

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

Casting in the swamp.

"You've been offered a role as a husband who's been married for thirty years."

Casting Director

'You're just not right for Naked Ninja Nuns...you can act!'

"He thinks that if they really want to smash the stereotype then he should be a shoe-in for the next Bond."

"Of course, there's Macbeth and the pantomine season...."

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

And the die is cast!

Hannibal "I turned down the part of one of his meals."

"I got another callback. My agent says it's between me and the guy who's going to get it."

"You're right, Son. This movie did have a great cast."