Reality Show Casting Director Gifts

"Hang on. . . I think they're still someone down there!"

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

'I just love this new reality show, TRADING BANK ACCOUNTS!'

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

Casting in the swamp.

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

'I'm not sure how you managed to burn a bowl of cereal.'

'Dear, you're not supposed to take it seriously...it's a reality show!'

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

'Oh No! Reality theatre.'

'I'm a has-been celebrity - get me in there!'

Casting Director

"Of course, there's Macbeth and the pantomine season...."