Casting Director Gifts

"There just aren't any good parts."

"You need a transplant, but there are very few good parts for middle-aged women."

'I'm sorry, Ralph, but you didn't make the final cut.'

"It's always 'Get me a Godzilla type,' never 'Get me Godzilla!'"

"Well Sid, I'll tell you why dogs get all the good parts. Dogs have better agents."

'Will somebody turn down the heating before we lose all of our applicants?!'

'It's a Drama right? I would be great for the part: I can cry on command!'

Sign outside a movie studio: Standing in line Auditions.

"Finding work as an actor isn't easy. Once, I was so desperate, I staged my own death ??" and still lost the part."

'I'm typecast!'

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

"You don't have to do the quotes every time, Brian—we know you're not Shakespeare."

Casting Director

'Regrettably, I can only hire one of you.'

Film Casting Co.

It's certainly refreshing to see them cast against type.

And the die is cast!

'Send in the standard hippo contract.'

Hollywood's leading ham lands a meaty part.

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"They were all so good at the auditions, that I couldn't pick just seven."

'Congratulations. All but one of you has been short listed.'

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'Hire my talent'

Pantomime auditions - 'He'd be ideal as Buttons.'...'Oh, no he wouldn't.'...'Oh, yes he would!'

"I'm always typecasted for the same role. Can't you find me something else? Like a musical or romantic comedy?"

"Quiet? I'd even read for the understudy part for someone who is between engagements."

"I come from a long line of actors. It's call the dole queue..."

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

"In my new film, I'd like you to be the romantic lead."

"The dead guy! Always the dead guy! I'm sick of being typecast!"

"I'm preparing for a movie role. You?"

"And how would you feel shooting your arrow for a really bad match?"

"The 'Ho ho ho' thing—we get it. By Act II, I'm looking for it to have evolved."