Casting Director T-Shirts

"There just aren't any good parts."

"You need a transplant, but there are very few good parts for middle-aged women."

'I'm sorry, Ralph, but you didn't make the final cut.'

"It's always 'Get me a Godzilla type,' never 'Get me Godzilla!'"

"Well Sid, I'll tell you why dogs get all the good parts. Dogs have better agents."

'Will somebody turn down the heating before we lose all of our applicants?!'

'It's a Drama right? I would be great for the part: I can cry on command!'

Sign outside a movie studio: Standing in line Auditions.

"You've been offered a role as a husband who's been married for thirty years."

"Finding work as an actor isn't easy. Once, I was so desperate, I staged my own death ??" and still lost the part."

'I'm typecast!'

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

"You don't have to do the quotes every time, Brian—we know you're not Shakespeare."

Casting Director

'Regrettably, I can only hire one of you.'

Hannibal "I turned down the part of one of his meals."

Film Casting Co.

'We're hoping to go back to the James Bond of the novels, so we're looking for a sexist, misogynist dinosaur.'

It's certainly refreshing to see them cast against type.

And the die is cast!

Why you've never heard of Ricky Rat.

'Send in the standard hippo contract.'

Hollywood's leading ham lands a meaty part.

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"They were all so good at the auditions, that I couldn't pick just seven."

'Congratulations. All but one of you has been short listed.'

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"You want the lead role in the Thanksgiving play, don't you? Try again, 'Gobble, gobble, gobble' - this time with feeling!"

'Hire my talent'

'There's a Mr. Oliver to see you. Says he can save the world.'

Pantomime auditions - 'He'd be ideal as Buttons.'...'Oh, no he wouldn't.'...'Oh, yes he would!'

Latest support group: British actors who couldn't get a part in the Harry Potter films.

"I'm always typecasted for the same role. Can't you find me something else? Like a musical or romantic comedy?"

Charlotte Rampling