Casting Director Wannabe T-Shirts

"In the movie about the New York prison escapees, I'd like to see Jack Nicholson as Richard Matt and Woody Harrelson as David Sweat."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Director/Action Man toy.

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

'Is this river good for fish?' - 'Yes, so good the refuse to leave it.'

'I'll never let my love of fishing come between us.'

"Which part are you reading for?"

He has his own peculiar problems whether casting from the beach or from a boat.

'We'll send you to acting class when you're older. For now, get up and get ready for school.'

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

Casting in the swamp.

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

'I don't mind playing dead. But what I would really like to do is direct.'

'I'm a has-been celebrity - get me in there!'

Casting Director

"Of course, there's Macbeth and the pantomine season...."

Stage producer.