Actor Wannabe T-Shirts

The great bespeak for Miss Snevellicci

Reese Witherspoon

Director/Action Man toy.

'They all want to play the star.'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

'We'll send you to acting class when you're older. For now, get up and get ready for school.'

Ye Editor. It’s a little downbeat, Will. How about making it a comedy and changing the name from "Othello" to "The Moor, The Marry-er"?

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

"Have a career, and then if you want to try acting, you'll have my blessing."

So close... Yet so far.

"When I grow up, I want to be a Presidential impersonator on 'Saturday Night Live.'"

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

'I could have been the next Neil Young, but my ol' man made me take singing lessons.'

As Seen On TV

Producer, Director, Egomaniac Chairs.

A panhandler with a sign that reads "I'll never work in this town again!".

Mail and Femail restrooms for envelopes.

I'm only a part-time waiter, I'm really an actor.

"Cut. Cut. You call this a crime scene?"

'I don't see how you can put your profession as TV star just because you were in the crowd of Match of the Day!'

'It's not just that he plays games all the time, it's the games he plays. He's not playing 'Guitar Hero,' he's playing 'Guitar Sidekick''.

"It's your real-estate agent. She says she may have found you a higher ledge."

"We could start a band."

"So I hear you did your own stunts in this movie."

"I like you kid, but you're really just a work in progress!"

'I don't mind playing dead...but what I'd really like to do is direct.'

Wizard of Oz Rehearsal Today. We'll have to have him lip-sync. He has a tin ear.

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

Pony Director

Waiting to be discovered, or taken to work, whichever comes first...

I'm just waiting tables until I can make it as an actor

"I'm afraid the Will Ferrell quotes and hilarious duck impressions just aren't covering your low productivity levels any more, Ted."

"Larry and Phil aren't sure what they want to do, but Michael is interested in show business."

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."