Action Star Wannabe T-Shirts

"So I hear you did your own stunts in this movie."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'They all want to play the star.'

He kept up his guitar practise...

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

Working in the Hazard Zone!

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

"Hugh fans!"

Steve McQueen

Reese Witherspoon

...the all-terrain skateboard.

Guitar Man.

"...then finally, I got serious and started a band."

"Play dead!" "What a long strange trip its been..."

'I've got a cape. I think I can make it.'

'We'll send you to acting class when you're older. For now, get up and get ready for school.'

'No, when something blows up it doesn't buffer, that's just special effects.'

Inaction Figure

"Sarge, he says he wants to make a 'fashion statement'!"

'Of course we've got Marshall amps Jim! Only the best up here.'

'Why is the guitarist doing a Jack Sparrow impression?'

Plymouth Rock

Sylvester Stallone

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

The mission: Impossible burger.

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."

"Hold it a second. I want to watch this."

Marine-LAPD Ridealongs

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

'I'm pretty sleepy tonight, Dad - could we just skip ahead to the chase scene?'

"Have a career, and then if you want to try acting, you'll have my blessing."

"I do all my own stunts"

Commando crashes into wall, instead of through window.

So close... Yet so far.