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Six identical fishermen in boats on a river.

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

'Is this river good for fish?' - 'Yes, so good the refuse to leave it.'

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

"Which part are you reading for?"

Not much money, glory, or praise

'I'll never let my love of fishing come between us.'

He has his own peculiar problems whether casting from the beach or from a boat.

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

Ice Fly-Fishing with Doug

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

Casting in the swamp.

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

'Doris,do you realize you are destroying a perfectly happy marriage?'

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."

'I'm a has-been celebrity - get me in there!'

Casting Director

And the die is cast!

'You say you've been hibernating in Alaska for the past 25 years. Do you think you can drive an SUV up the side of a mountain?'

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

"Of course, there's Macbeth and the pantomine season...."

"I got another callback. My agent says it's between me and the guy who's going to get it."

'You're just not right for Naked Ninja Nuns...you can act!'