Casting Champions Pillows

Six identical fishermen in boats on a river.

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

'Is this river good for fish?' - 'Yes, so good the refuse to leave it.'

Why you've never heard of Ricky Rat.

'I'll never let my love of fishing come between us.'

He has his own peculiar problems whether casting from the beach or from a boat.

'I was up for a part in the Producers...'

"Which part are you reading for?"

"And what else do you think you can bring to the role of Edmund, Earl of Gloucester?"

Not much money, glory, or praise

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

Ice Fly-Fishing with Doug

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

Casting in the swamp.

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

Charlotte Rampling

'Doris,do you realize you are destroying a perfectly happy marriage?'

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

"You've been offered a role as a husband who's been married for thirty years."

Casting Director

'I'm a has-been celebrity - get me in there!'

'You're just not right for Naked Ninja Nuns...you can act!'

"He thinks that if they really want to smash the stereotype then he should be a shoe-in for the next Bond."

"Of course, there's Macbeth and the pantomine season...."

"You're right, Son. This movie did have a great cast."

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

"I got another callback. My agent says it's between me and the guy who's going to get it."