Casting Directors Pillows

"I'm sorry. We don't want a ring-tailed lemur. We want a ring-tailed-lemur type."

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

'Looks like the Old Boy Network.'

'Oh, say cheese - it's a family snap, not a TV drama photo shoot!'

Wordplay: Short Notice - Applicants wanted for support roles in production of Snow White.

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Just be yourself."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

'Hamlet'

Trump! The Musical

Daughters on the beach

Shakespeare was bisexual

Meet Me Outside St. Louis

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

Theatre Masks and Butts

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

"If it appears that I only act like I'm working, it's because I minored in Theater."

'Is this river good for fish?' - 'Yes, so good the refuse to leave it.'

Applause

'All those vegetables Mom's been feeding me finally paid off. I'm a squash.'

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

Madame Rejane- Famous French Actress in the Part of Madame Sans Gene

Jack-a-box in the theatre.

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

"My God!! - Those actors must all be really old by now...!"

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

Comedy and tragedy masks

A Punch and Judy Professor is visited by Death as a puppet.

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."