Casting Pillows

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

Casting in the swamp.

"Of course, there's Macbeth and the pantomine season...."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

They hated me.

"Just be yourself."

Benedict Cumberbatch

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

'They all want to play the star.'

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

'Hamlet'

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Comedy Cafe

Theatre Masks and Butts

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

He is familiar with the silent swoop of the evening bat.

Joan Hickson

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

Emotion of Mr. Kenwigs on hearing the family news from Nicholas

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

"If it appears that I only act like I'm working, it's because I minored in Theater."

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

Theatre Crowd

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"