Casting Champion Pillows

The Specimen Hunter

'Is this river good for fish?' - 'Yes, so good the refuse to leave it.'

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

Why you've never heard of Ricky Rat.

'I'll never let my love of fishing come between us.'

"Which part are you reading for?"

'I was up for a part in the Producers...'

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

Not much money, glory, or praise

"And what else do you think you can bring to the role of Edmund, Earl of Gloucester?"

He has his own peculiar problems whether casting from the beach or from a boat.

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

Ice Fly-Fishing with Doug

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

'Doris,do you realize you are destroying a perfectly happy marriage?'

Casting in the swamp.

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

Charlotte Rampling

"You've been offered a role as a husband who's been married for thirty years."

'I'm a has-been celebrity - get me in there!'

Casting Director

'You say you've been hibernating in Alaska for the past 25 years. Do you think you can drive an SUV up the side of a mountain?'

And the die is cast!

"He thinks that if they really want to smash the stereotype then he should be a shoe-in for the next Bond."

"I got another callback. My agent says it's between me and the guy who's going to get it."

"Of course, there's Macbeth and the pantomine season...."