Casting Pro Pillows

"You're right, Son. This movie did have a great cast."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

'Is this river good for fish?' - 'Yes, so good the refuse to leave it.'

He has his own peculiar problems whether casting from the beach or from a boat.

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

"Which part are you reading for?"

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

Ice Fly-Fishing with Doug

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

Casting in the swamp.

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

'Doris,do you realize you are destroying a perfectly happy marriage?'

Casting Director

'I'm a has-been celebrity - get me in there!'

And the die is cast!

'You're just not right for Naked Ninja Nuns...you can act!'

"He thinks that if they really want to smash the stereotype then he should be a shoe-in for the next Bond."

"I got another callback. My agent says it's between me and the guy who's going to get it."

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

'You say you've been hibernating in Alaska for the past 25 years. Do you think you can drive an SUV up the side of a mountain?'

"Of course, there's Macbeth and the pantomine season...."

"I'm sorry. We don't want a ring-tailed lemur. We want a ring-tailed-lemur type."