Casting Pro Prints

"You're right, Son. This movie did have a great cast."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

'Is this river good for fish?' - 'Yes, so good the refuse to leave it.'

Why you've never heard of Ricky Rat.

'I was up for a part in the Producers...'

He has his own peculiar problems whether casting from the beach or from a boat.

"Which part are you reading for?"

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

"And what else do you think you can bring to the role of Edmund, Earl of Gloucester?"

Ice Fly-Fishing with Doug

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

'Doris,do you realize you are destroying a perfectly happy marriage?'

Charlotte Rampling

Casting in the swamp.

"You've been offered a role as a husband who's been married for thirty years."

Casting Director

'I'm a has-been celebrity - get me in there!'

Hannibal "I turned down the part of one of his meals."

'You're just not right for Naked Ninja Nuns...you can act!'

"He thinks that if they really want to smash the stereotype then he should be a shoe-in for the next Bond."

"I got another callback. My agent says it's between me and the guy who's going to get it."

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

'You say you've been hibernating in Alaska for the past 25 years. Do you think you can drive an SUV up the side of a mountain?'

And the die is cast!

"Of course, there's Macbeth and the pantomine season...."