Reality Tv Executive Gifts

JERRY SPRINGER'S GUESTS TODAY

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

'If only every year was an election year.'

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

'NBC has revealed plans for a new, humorous version of The Office.'

'I just love this new reality show, TRADING BANK ACCOUNTS!'

Parents start infant on the way to fame.

Derren Brown: Pushed to the Edge

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

America's funniest election gaffes

nstead of looking at fish bowl, a kid watches the fish on TV as they are being video taped.

"Last week on 'Top Surgeon' Erica won immunity, while Carl was sent home for killing his patient during routine gallbladder surgery."

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

X Factor contestant dressed as a 'Y'.

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

'You're not being fired Jenkins. It's just that all our colleagues have booted you out of the company.'

'What a strange episode -- they just voted Ricardo Montalban off the island!'

'I'm not sure how you managed to burn a bowl of cereal.'

Death Styles of the Rich and Famous

'Dear, you're not supposed to take it seriously...it's a reality show!'

'We've gone over your budget very carefully, Mr Thorne. Unfortunately the network does not sell 7-second spots.'

TV Situations vacant.