Little Lawmaker Gifts

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

'Will you raise my allowance? I want to play doctor but can't afford the malpractice insurance.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

'We never should have bought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious or arbitrary.'

"Two boys from legal to see you."

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

'I recorded this earlier today. . . they're his first intelligent words!'

'I'll never understand parents. They name you Patrick O'Kelly O'Grady and then punish you for shenanigans.'

"So you want to give yourselves a pay raise and change term limits so you can continue to ignore voter mandates and introduce ridiculous legislation?"

'I wonder what the statue of limitations is on something like this?'

'I'm not playing with Kevin anymore. He's suing me.'

'The Supreme Court found the new law constitutional, but struck it down anyway because it's politically incorrect.'

"He just doesn't know what to do with himself since he got elected to Congress."

"When I grow up, I want to impeach a president."

"After all the trouble I've been in lately, I decided to hire a PR firm to repair my image."

'Okay, let's negotiate. Just how good do I have to be?'

War on drugs... war on terror... war on lima beans.

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'

'Time-outs might have more meaning when I learn to tell time.'

"The good news is, the children in the district have strong writing skills. The bad news is, we have sustained a letter-writing campaign from the third grade."

"With the Suzuki method, they start them campaigning as early as three or four."

'It's a simple rule of thumb -- if at first you don't succeed, blame the media!'

I left my mark on policies and programs.

Kid reader to librarian about 'Parenting' book: 'This didn't tell me anything about how to deal with parents.'

"If he can run for mayor, I bet I can be mayor some day too!"

'I'm thinking about running for president. Not this term but as soon as I'm allowed to cross the street by myself.'

'Most of all, I want a long-term highway bill.'

Al Baldasaro

'A raise in my allowance is fine, dad. But what I'm really after is power of attorney.'