Little Politician Gifts

"We’re not ‘imposing sanctions,’ Ben – we asked you to clean your room."

'I'm thinking about running for president. Not this term but as soon as I'm allowed to cross the street by myself.'

'Most of all, I want a long-term highway bill.'

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

"I wish he'd actually play with his toy hospital, rather than just making strike placards."

'Don't try to turn tail and run. That's just what they want.'

I rule by fear.

"The treasury has hacked into his computer and asked for ideas to solve the deficit"

'I recorded this earlier today. . . they're his first intelligent words!'

"When I grow up, I want to impeach a president."

"And I'd recommend this book to anyone in the market for a free plush toy."

"After all the trouble I've been in lately, I decided to hire a PR firm to repair my image."

War on drugs... war on terror... war on lima beans.

'Okay, let's negotiate. Just how good do I have to be?'

"With the Suzuki method, they start them campaigning as early as three or four."

"They're secret service. They appeared the day Billy decided he wanted to be president when he grew up."

"The good news is, the children in the district have strong writing skills. The bad news is, we have sustained a letter-writing campaign from the third grade."

'I'm Timmy Jones of the 'Young Republicans'. I'm collecting to run for president in 2028, and my goal is to be another Ronald Regan!'

"If he can run for mayor, I bet I can be mayor some day too!"

'I'd love to tell who did it, but I'm protecting my source.'

Mastering political faces.

'As the head of the benevolent order of superior sisterhood, I'm going to lobby congress to end the scourge of stinky, booger-brained boys and put girls in charge of everything.'

"Bad news. The press got a hold of your kindergarten paste eating scandal."

'I am disappointed there's nothing in the stimulus package about allowances - so I'm E-mailing our congressman.'

'My first one is obvious making it illegal to ever question me...In that case, it'll be the right for everyone to never question me! Good catch, daddy. Thanks...'

'What do you mean, Poll Tax?'

"If we pool our stuff, we can open a chain of toy stores."

Boy holding power doesn't want to share.

'Let's start raising campaign money.'

'I'm running for student council president. Would you care to donate to my superpac?'

"Bad news! They hacked Santa's computer and you're on the naughty list!"

Social Security or Bust.

'Why do they call it a party? No one looks like they are having any fun.'