School Politician Gifts

"What's your position on Brussels Sprouts in the lunch line?"

"I was our high school's only class president that was impeached."

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

"She's the best nit nurse this school has ever seen."

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

"I wish he'd actually play with his toy hospital, rather than just making strike placards."

I rule by fear.

"The treasury has hacked into his computer and asked for ideas to solve the deficit"

'I'm so proud of Trevor for getting an early start on his negative campaign for Student Council.'

We pride ourselves on having every type of insurance policy, but report card insurance is a new one to us.

"I'm enjoying kindergarten except for all the politics!"

"You didn't see much of us last summer because we were busy studying for the mid terms!"

'It's someone from the Society for Ethical Treatment of Principals asking for a donation.'

'Boasting bumper stickers.'

'If the key to effective classroom management is consistency, I guess I'm an effective classroom manager, I am consistently exhausted at the end of the day.'

"Let's have refreshments on parents' night. These people need nourishment."

'Let's face it, we're nothing but a puppet government.'

"How much longer will we have to help Besty with her homework?"

"Heading to your government schools to be brainwashed?"

'Your excuses for not doing your homework are excellent. How about a career as political apologist?'

'My advice to a first year teacher is to teach from the heart, not only from the book.'

"Nothing says 'Teacher Appreciation' like an administrator winning the raffle."

'We do not permit bullying or name calling in our school. We will reprimand any student that calls your child a dummy.'

"These conferences are a good thing. It keeps parents off the streets."

"Hey, look at that. It looks like the stuff we've been using to text each other for years."

Congratulations on your PGCE.

Teacher's Workroom.

"We've unleashed your child's potential—this is as good as it's going to get."

'Most of all, I want a long-term highway bill.'

'I'm thinking about running for president. Not this term but as soon as I'm allowed to cross the street by myself.'

'Don't worry too much about math, science, or history -- just make sure you get good marks in rhetoric.'