Young Politician Gifts

"Bad news. The press got a hold of your kindergarten paste eating scandal."

"The treasury has hacked into his computer and asked for ideas to solve the deficit"

'As the head of the benevolent order of superior sisterhood, I'm going to lobby congress to end the scourge of stinky, booger-brained boys and put girls in charge of everything.'

'Let's start raising campaign money.'

"I wish he'd actually play with his toy hospital, rather than just making strike placards."

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

Who should be the next eco-club president? The most vegan? The most carbon neutral? The most into solar? Eco-club. But we need someone who will attract kids to the environmental cause. Then it's obvious. The most popular. Or most athletic!

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

"Remember, we're the next generation so try not to blow it."

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'Danae's spent all this week writing new amendments, which I can only assume means she doesn't know what it'll take to get them into the constitution...so I sent her a link on the process...'

I rule by fear.

'I've changed my mind...I want to grow up to be a politician.'

"What I miss during school holidays is not going out on strike every Friday."

'Oh,oh, Regina has her lawyer with her.'

Secretary to boss: 'You fooled some of the people all of the time, Senator, but they were all too young to vote.'

'I'm so proud of Trevor for getting an early start on his negative campaign for Student Council.'

'When I'm old enough to vote, I'm going to select Santa Claus as a write-in candidate.'

Children hold hands around a map of the world with picnic food.

"I'm enjoying kindergarten except for all the politics!"

'He said his first buzz word today!'

"Actually, I'm tired of the man trying to shape our minds so they fit into some pre-arranged societal widget."

"I'm thinking of getting into office politics."

'Your excuses for not doing your homework are excellent. How about a career as political apologist?'

Student Council. Ernie's no longer on the student council, but he's sticking around as a lobbyist.

Oh no! What's wrong? I tweeted a sarcastic insult about Brian Blount, my nemesis in the race for class president. So? So … the sarcasm didn't come through. All my followers think I was praising him. Oh. Yeah, well sarcasm's tricky online. Oh no! My followers are confused about where my loyalties lie. Oh no! Some of them are calling me a sellout. They're saying they're disillusioned! Oh no! Now they've split into two factions, those who say I'm a sellout and those who say maybe Brian Blount isn't

'Most of all, I want a long-term highway bill.'

Taking out the garbage can, cleaning up my room... Why doesn't someone start a civil war to free us kids?!

'The greenest government ever?'

"Five kids have signed my petition. We'd like to have vegetarian options on the cafeteria menu. To help, I've put together a few recipes of my own."

"Honk If You're Running For Governor!

"Eat your borscht. Don't you want to be President of the Soviet Union when you grow up?"

'I'm thinking about running for president. Not this term but as soon as I'm allowed to cross the street by myself.'