Young Politician In Training Gifts

Student Council. Ernie's no longer on the student council, but he's sticking around as a lobbyist.

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

"What I do is pick up the morning paper, go through it carefully, and then, depending on how I feel about things, I either say the Pledge of Allegiance, stand there and do nothing, or walk out of the classroom."

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

Who should be the next eco-club president? The most vegan? The most carbon neutral? The most into solar? Eco-club. But we need someone who will attract kids to the environmental cause. Then it's obvious. The most popular. Or most athletic!

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

"I wish he'd actually play with his toy hospital, rather than just making strike placards."

'Danae's spent all this week writing new amendments, which I can only assume means she doesn't know what it'll take to get them into the constitution...so I sent her a link on the process...'

I rule by fear.

'I've changed my mind...I want to grow up to be a politician.'

"The treasury has hacked into his computer and asked for ideas to solve the deficit"

"What I miss during school holidays is not going out on strike every Friday."

'Oh,oh, Regina has her lawyer with her.'

'When I'm old enough to vote, I'm going to select Santa Claus as a write-in candidate.'

Secretary to boss: 'You fooled some of the people all of the time, Senator, but they were all too young to vote.'

'I'm so proud of Trevor for getting an early start on his negative campaign for Student Council.'

'And here you see the heart of this nation's capital. If you roll down your windows, you can smell the BS.'

Children hold hands around a map of the world with picnic food.

'He said his first buzz word today!'

"I'm thinking of getting into office politics."

'Your excuses for not doing your homework are excellent. How about a career as political apologist?'

"Honk If You're Running For Governor!

Taking out the garbage can, cleaning up my room... Why doesn't someone start a civil war to free us kids?!

"Eat your borscht. Don't you want to be President of the Soviet Union when you grow up?"

"Five kids have signed my petition. We'd like to have vegetarian options on the cafeteria menu. To help, I've put together a few recipes of my own."

Oh no! What's wrong? I tweeted a sarcastic insult about Brian Blount, my nemesis in the race for class president. So? So … the sarcasm didn't come through. All my followers think I was praising him. Oh. Yeah, well sarcasm's tricky online. Oh no! My followers are confused about where my loyalties lie. Oh no! Some of them are calling me a sellout. They're saying they're disillusioned! Oh no! Now they've split into two factions, those who say I'm a sellout and those who say maybe Brian Blount isn't

'The greenest government ever?'

'Don't worry too much about math, science, or history -- just make sure you get good marks in rhetoric.'

'I'd like to run for class president but I don't want to put my family through a background check.'

'There was a lot of excitement at school today — the Student Council voted itself a pay raise.'

'I'm considering a run for class president. Do we have any skeletons in our closet I should first know about?'

You should read a book once in a while, Al. Where do you think you'll end up by spending all your time on the internet? The White House?

"Dad's just giving Timmy some guidance as to how the party's manifesto commitments may result in a fiscal drag on GDP growth targets..."

"Was that your first foray into politics?"