Future Politician In Training Gifts

'Danae's spent all this week writing new amendments, which I can only assume means she doesn't know what it'll take to get them into the constitution...so I sent her a link on the process...'

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

"I wish he'd actually play with his toy hospital, rather than just making strike placards."

"The treasury has hacked into his computer and asked for ideas to solve the deficit"

'I've changed my mind...I want to grow up to be a politician.'

'And here you see the heart of this nation's capital. If you roll down your windows, you can smell the BS.'

'I'm so proud of Trevor for getting an early start on his negative campaign for Student Council.'

'When I'm old enough to vote, I'm going to select Santa Claus as a write-in candidate.'

Caution Bullet Ahead

"I'm thinking of getting into office politics."

'He said his first buzz word today!'

'Your excuses for not doing your homework are excellent. How about a career as political apologist?'

'The greenest government ever?'

"Do my hair like Boris Johnson."

Student Council. Ernie's no longer on the student council, but he's sticking around as a lobbyist.

"Honk If You're Running For Governor!

"Eat your borscht. Don't you want to be President of the Soviet Union when you grow up?"

'Don't worry too much about math, science, or history -- just make sure you get good marks in rhetoric.'

'I'd like to run for class president but I don't want to put my family through a background check.'

'I'm considering a run for class president. Do we have any skeletons in our closet I should first know about?'

'It's 'any little boy CAN grow up to be President ' -- It's not a REQUIREMENT.'

'Instead of being just like Michael Jordan, I wanna be just like Barack.'

'Remember, you can't please everyone in this world...especially when you're pandering to your base.'

'As the head of the benevolent order of superior sisterhood, I'm going to lobby congress to end the scourge of stinky, booger-brained boys and put girls in charge of everything.'

"Was that your first foray into politics?"

Giggling during the debate didn't cost you the election. The mile coming out of your nose cost you the election.

"Dad's just giving Timmy some guidance as to how the party's manifesto commitments may result in a fiscal drag on GDP growth targets..."

"He's my running mate."

'Okay, son -- I'll tell you one more campaign promise, and then off you go to sleep.'

You should read a book once in a while, Al. Where do you think you'll end up by spending all your time on the internet? The White House?

'Yes, dad, I mis-spoke my math grade, covered-up my reprimand from the dean, and cheated on an English quiz, but I'm getting an A in political science.'

"Bad news. The press got a hold of your kindergarten paste eating scandal."