Young Politicos Gifts

'There was a lot of excitement at school today — the Student Council voted itself a pay raise.'

'If I'm elected class president, can I overrule the teacher?'

"I can't wait until I'm old enough to vote for a guaranteed minimum allowance."

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

"I wish he'd actually play with his toy hospital, rather than just making strike placards."

I rule by fear.

"The treasury has hacked into his computer and asked for ideas to solve the deficit"

"What I miss during school holidays is not going out on strike every Friday."

'Oh,oh, Regina has her lawyer with her.'

'I'm so proud of Trevor for getting an early start on his negative campaign for Student Council.'

Secretary to boss: 'You fooled some of the people all of the time, Senator, but they were all too young to vote.'

Caution Bullet Ahead

Children hold hands around a map of the world with picnic food.

"Actually, I'm tired of the man trying to shape our minds so they fit into some pre-arranged societal widget."

"You didn't see much of us last summer because we were busy studying for the mid terms!"

'He said his first buzz word today!'

'Your excuses for not doing your homework are excellent. How about a career as political apologist?'

"Five kids have signed my petition. We'd like to have vegetarian options on the cafeteria menu. To help, I've put together a few recipes of my own."

Taking out the garbage can, cleaning up my room... Why doesn't someone start a civil war to free us kids?!

'Don't worry too much about math, science, or history -- just make sure you get good marks in rhetoric.'

'I'd like to run for class president but I don't want to put my family through a background check.'

"I'm class president. I need a really big airplane."

'Okay, son -- I'll tell you one more campaign promise, and then off you go to sleep.'

Mastering political faces.

"Dad's just giving Timmy some guidance as to how the party's manifesto commitments may result in a fiscal drag on GDP growth targets..."

'It's 'any little boy CAN grow up to be President ' -- It's not a REQUIREMENT.'

Giggling during the debate didn't cost you the election. The mile coming out of your nose cost you the election.

'As the head of the benevolent order of superior sisterhood, I'm going to lobby congress to end the scourge of stinky, booger-brained boys and put girls in charge of everything.'

"He's my running mate."

'Were the lemons grown locally?'

'Yes, dad, I mis-spoke my math grade, covered-up my reprimand from the dean, and cheated on an English quiz, but I'm getting an A in political science.'

"Bad news. The press got a hold of your kindergarten paste eating scandal."

"If you're planning to run for public office, 'a man of conviction' sounds better than 'prison parolee'."