Young Politicos Gifts

'There was a lot of excitement at school today — the Student Council voted itself a pay raise.'

'If I'm elected class president, can I overrule the teacher?'

"I can't wait until I'm old enough to vote for a guaranteed minimum allowance."

Who should be the next eco-club president? The most vegan? The most carbon neutral? The most into solar? Eco-club. But we need someone who will attract kids to the environmental cause. Then it's obvious. The most popular. Or most athletic!

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

"I wish he'd actually play with his toy hospital, rather than just making strike placards."

I rule by fear.

"The treasury has hacked into his computer and asked for ideas to solve the deficit"

"What I miss during school holidays is not going out on strike every Friday."

'Oh,oh, Regina has her lawyer with her.'

Secretary to boss: 'You fooled some of the people all of the time, Senator, but they were all too young to vote.'

'I'm so proud of Trevor for getting an early start on his negative campaign for Student Council.'

Caution Bullet Ahead

Children hold hands around a map of the world with picnic food.

"You didn't see much of us last summer because we were busy studying for the mid terms!"

Be the Lame Change You Seek

"Actually, I'm tired of the man trying to shape our minds so they fit into some pre-arranged societal widget."

'He said his first buzz word today!'

'Your excuses for not doing your homework are excellent. How about a career as political apologist?'

Oh no! What's wrong? I tweeted a sarcastic insult about Brian Blount, my nemesis in the race for class president. So? So … the sarcasm didn't come through. All my followers think I was praising him. Oh. Yeah, well sarcasm's tricky online. Oh no! My followers are confused about where my loyalties lie. Oh no! Some of them are calling me a sellout. They're saying they're disillusioned! Oh no! Now they've split into two factions, those who say I'm a sellout and those who say maybe Brian Blount isn't

Taking out the garbage can, cleaning up my room... Why doesn't someone start a civil war to free us kids?!

"Five kids have signed my petition. We'd like to have vegetarian options on the cafeteria menu. To help, I've put together a few recipes of my own."

Student Council. Ernie's no longer on the student council, but he's sticking around as a lobbyist.

Voting on their Seats

'Don't worry too much about math, science, or history -- just make sure you get good marks in rhetoric.'

'I'd like to run for class president but I don't want to put my family through a background check.'

'It's 'any little boy CAN grow up to be President ' -- It's not a REQUIREMENT.'

"He's my running mate."

Giggling during the debate didn't cost you the election. The mile coming out of your nose cost you the election.

"I'm class president. I need a really big airplane."

"Dad's just giving Timmy some guidance as to how the party's manifesto commitments may result in a fiscal drag on GDP growth targets..."

'As the head of the benevolent order of superior sisterhood, I'm going to lobby congress to end the scourge of stinky, booger-brained boys and put girls in charge of everything.'

Mastering political faces.

'Okay, son -- I'll tell you one more campaign promise, and then off you go to sleep.'

'Were the lemons grown locally?'