Mini Politician Gifts

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

"It worries me that he just wants to be vice president when he grows up."

'My first one is obvious making it illegal to ever question me...In that case, it'll be the right for everyone to never question me! Good catch, daddy. Thanks...'

'I'm running for student council president. Would you care to donate to my superpac?'

'You should concentrate on your schoolwork for now - you'll have plenty of time to pick a running mate later.'

"You BARFED back in second grade! What other skeletons are there in your closet??"

"If he can run for mayor, I bet I can be mayor some day too!"

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

"Have you been eating the paste again, Todd?"

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

A baby playing on a grand piano

Civics Class: Mock Election Today. Oh, no --- Another multiple choice test!

One!

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

"I wish he'd actually play with his toy hospital, rather than just making strike placards."

I rule by fear.

"The treasury has hacked into his computer and asked for ideas to solve the deficit"

'I recorded this earlier today. . . they're his first intelligent words!'

"Wait, so his first whole sentence was 'I don't want to work, I just want to bang on the drum all day'?!"

"Trust me, Son, you do not want to 'grow up to be president.' "

"When I grow up, I want to impeach a president."

"They're secret service. They appeared the day Billy decided he wanted to be president when he grew up."

"I've got news for you. Kids don't have a union and doing your homework is not negotiable."

"With the Suzuki method, they start them campaigning as early as three or four."

"When I grow up I'm going to become president and I'm going to abolish homework!"

'Giving a child a violin is like giving him a license to kill!'

No toxic waste in my backyard!

'He's playing 'Doctor'.'

'Most of all, I want a long-term highway bill.'

'I'm thinking about running for president. Not this term but as soon as I'm allowed to cross the street by myself.'

'I'm Timmy Jones of the 'Young Republicans'. I'm collecting to run for president in 2028, and my goal is to be another Ronald Regan!'

"Plea bargaining with my mom is more like please bargaining."

'I'll give you sit-down-strike! Just you get this room tidied up by bedtime!'

'As the head of the benevolent order of superior sisterhood, I'm going to lobby congress to end the scourge of stinky, booger-brained boys and put girls in charge of everything.'