Lazy Theologian Gifts

'He's not too swift with the rest of the commandments, but he does rest on Sundays.'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

Hot cross buns

"Sure, I pray all the time... English test, Math test, History test...."

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

'I guess you've noticed that most of these trespasses are reruns.'

Priest with Christian symbol

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

John the Baptist was clothed in camels hair and eight locusts.

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

'I looked, and the Ten Commandments don't say ANYTHING about running with scissors!'

Do it yourself - Get someone else to do it

'That's all for tonight, God. Stay tuned.'

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

"I'm not goofing off. I'm letting my money work for me."

"What are we doing today?"

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

'Well you know the old saying... if you can't beat 'em you can always google someone who can.'

"It's an apple pie, try it..."

'He's part Great Dane and part couch potato.'

'OK, my dinner's in the oven. Where's the oven?'

'I sure wouldn't want to be MY brother's keeper!'

Garden of Eden: Director's Cut

'I'm not seeking any answers . . .I don't know anything . . . I'm just lazy!'

Jesus Fish

Forgive me Father for I have sinned