Fishy Theologian Gifts

Priest with Christian symbol

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

Hot cross buns

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

Monk and Bible and Devil Page Marker

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

Fish Food

John the Baptist was clothed in camels hair and eight locusts.

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

"Repent, lest the axe of judgement fall upon thee."

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

"It's an apple pie, try it..."

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

"Father Fondell. . . your confessional is ready."

School of Fish

One of the crucial moments in evolution: 'It's a beautiful day today... We could go out for a walk...'

'I sure wouldn't want to be MY brother's keeper!'

Jesus Fish

"And to those of you who did contribute to the church fund—our blessings."

God feeding the angels.

Forgive me Father for I have sinned

Garden of Eden: Director's Cut

"It is one of life's great mysteries. No one has ever returned to tell."

The way I look at it...give a man a fish and you got a potential customer. Teach a man to fish and you lose market share.

'Create Adam before Eve -- He'll need some time to clean up around there a little first.'

Fundamentalist sex ed: people come from ribs, as Adam and Eve.

Sex and Violence....Hell and Brimstone.