Lazy Theologian Pillows

'He's not too swift with the rest of the commandments, but he does rest on Sundays.'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

Hot cross buns

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"Sure, I pray all the time... English test, Math test, History test...."

'I guess you've noticed that most of these trespasses are reruns.'

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

'I looked, and the Ten Commandments don't say ANYTHING about running with scissors!'

Do it yourself - Get someone else to do it

'That's all for tonight, God. Stay tuned.'

"I'm not goofing off. I'm letting my money work for me."

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

'OK, my dinner's in the oven. Where's the oven?'

"What are we doing today?"

'He's part Great Dane and part couch potato.'

'Well you know the old saying... if you can't beat 'em you can always google someone who can.'

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

"It's an apple pie, try it..."

'I sure wouldn't want to be MY brother's keeper!'

Garden of Eden: Director's Cut

'I'm not seeking any answers . . .I don't know anything . . . I'm just lazy!'

Forgive me Father for I have sinned

'How does he get away with it? If he's not playing with the mouse, he's sleeping.'

Jesus Fish