Armchair Theologian Pillows

"I don't like to complain, but he should've created some jobs, too."

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"Feel free to take notes."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

The intellectual.

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

At the 2021 Religious Games

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

"One side is for depression, the other is for anxiety, and if you're still confused make an appointment with the cat."

Priest

The dangerous world of the armchair thinker

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.

"I should've never studied canon law."

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

The Three Kinds of People

"I don't believe in egrets."

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

'In this world, son, you've got to learn to push yourself.'

"Lemme guess: You're struggling with the French press again."

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

The End of the World is postponed from 2000 to 2112.

"I'm back from Russia. Putin offered me a Dacha to say he's an honest man."