Armchair Theorist Pillows

The armchair pharmacologist speaks...

"It's time to pull the plug."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

"Feel free to take notes."

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

The intellectual.

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

The dangerous world of the armchair thinker

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

"I should've never studied canon law."

The Three Kinds of People

'In this world, son, you've got to learn to push yourself.'

"I don't believe in egrets."

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

"Lemme guess: You're struggling with the French press again."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

"I'm back from Russia. Putin offered me a Dacha to say he's an honest man."

'Do I believe in evolution? - Well, I suppose we should get it over with.'

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

'Which channel would you like to tut at tonight?'

'Voodoo economics was bad enough, but this voodoo foreign policy....'

"But now the good guy with a gun has a foot wound."

Kim-Putin Summit

"Before the library cuts I was well-read now I just have ill-informed opinions."

"The good news is it's brightening up..."