Armchair Sociologist Pillows

"Me and the guys admire how confident you are in your masculinity."

"Here's why men are so competitive with us - they know we're going to outlive them."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

They're Not Just That Into It

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"Feel free to take notes."

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

The intellectual.

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

The dangerous world of the armchair thinker

"I should've never studied canon law."

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

The Three Kinds of People

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

"I don't believe in egrets."

'In this world, son, you've got to learn to push yourself.'

"Lemme guess: You're struggling with the French press again."

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

Max Weber

"I'm back from Russia. Putin offered me a Dacha to say he's an honest man."

'Do I believe in evolution? - Well, I suppose we should get it over with.'

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

'Voodoo economics was bad enough, but this voodoo foreign policy....'

'Which channel would you like to tut at tonight?'

"I cede the remainder of my time to the ranking member."

"But now the good guy with a gun has a foot wound."

"Before the library cuts I was well-read now I just have ill-informed opinions."

Kim-Putin Summit