Laughing At Aging Gifts

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

"Why bother?"

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

I'm taking you off trying to stay young.

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

Missing my hair.

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

How are you feeling today? I feel just like a newborn baby. Really? Yes. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

"You know you're getting old when you need a hearing aid to hear your bones creak."

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

"It turns out my milk is actually aging cream...so, I use it to remove all those ugly age spots."

"Damn if I didn't start walking in this direction for a reason..."

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"There ain't enough room in this here town for two arthritics, stranger..."

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

Listen, you're fine. Lots of people your age start fuhgeddabouding things.

The whole "lasts longer" thing isn't really necessary here in eternity.

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

'You are always living in the past!'

"He's at that funny age. It takes twice as long to get over a good time, as to have it."

Aged Centaur.

"Getting a little thin on top and dull below, eh pop?"

"How do you know my wish didn't come true."

"It's the Florida kid."

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

Looking the goods at Christmas in flash new socks and jocks!!

Old Darth Vader

"Well -- You're over 30 so you probably just slept on it wrong."

Mountain has tunnel called Carpal Tunnel.